I got nothin

I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out cool secret hiding places for my top-secret data. You know, like if I had a ... list of .. . bad guy .... gosh I have no idea. Listen, if anybody has any juicy top secret data, but no place to hide it, give me a call.

Here are some ideas for you if you need to hide that CD you burned with all of your under-cover minion's real names and addresses:

• Get a crayon. Normally kids have crayons, so ask one of them to get you one. Now, take a piece of paper and place it over the cd. Now move the crayon around on the paper until you get a perfect picture of the cd on your paper. Now you can destroy the CD, and as long as you have the paper, you can always recreate the data. To recreate the data, get a new blank CD. Put your piece of paper that has the crayon drawing over the blank cd and then get some lemon squirts. Note: don't get the lemon squirt in your eye. Spread the lemon squirt over the paper evenly. Wait 2 hours, Now get your telephone. A cell phone won't work for this part. Hold your phone up to the CD and the dial tone will activate the fibers in the lemon squirt which will burn the cd for you. If this doesn't work, then burn a new CD from your computer.


• Find a group of male penguins that are holding an egg on their feet. Penguin males will hold and protect those eggs for like .. months. So If you can sneak your CD in there too, they will fend off enemies for you. You will probably need active camouflage to get close enough to the penguins. If the penguins spot you, beat feet.
  


• ASk your mom to keep the CD in her purse for you. Nobody is going to look in your mom's purse. If you think they might, write something on the CD. You could write something like 'Celine Dion: Greatest Hits.'
  


• Get a group of minions together and shave their heads. Now tattoo all of your secret data onto the shaven heads. You will probably need to keep the minions working at your underground compound until their hair grows back. Now if you ever need your data it is safely hidden in plain sight. Well, something.
  

If you have found this post to be useful. You can send me some chocolate.

About the author: Lance Whitaker is the author. The end.