Monday, November 24, 2008

ponderings of a mute tubist

One is not the loneliest number. Three is, after one and two got married. They were all still friends but one had to get that job shucking corn 60 hours a week just to support two's gambling problem. I would tell you which was the man and which the woman in that scenario, but numbers don't have gender. Everybody hoped that three would find a nice prime number and settle down, but you know how that never happens. Three saw how one and two struggled to make things work, and to make ends meet while living in their double-wide down by the water reclamation plant. Three thought he would prefer to travel the world, but he settled for making pies. Well, he actually only started the pies and let other numbers complete them. I don't think any of the pies actually got finished, They were HARD to make, it seemed like there was always someone else that needed to add something.

Cinnamon is the number one cause of Tornados in the U.S. Don't believe me? Well, you will when you hear my proof!!!! Pass it on.

I hear people saying that violence is not the answer as they are throwing hand grenades at whoever happens to be nearby, and I think they are right. Violence isn't the answer to anything, it's just fun. Kinda like churning butter. You could just go buy the butter anywhere, but then you would miss out on the churning.

Love is like a ray of sunshine, it sounds nice, but when you actually experience it you get burned and decide to protect yourself from it. Oh, and it gives you cancer eventually.

I really wish that the gay community would give the rainbow back to the unicorns. They had it first.

In closing, I would like to leave you with a peom:

Night sky, way up yonder,
We all worry about you,
you seem to be eating
too many clouds,
and you cry a lot,
you pansy.

3 comments:

elesa said...

That peom made me cry. So poignant. So profound.

B said...

You are such a great writer and I bet you just sit down and write it without thinking. Very funny! We miss you!

Lance Whitaker said...

Who is B?

Who are you, B?