Thursday, November 20, 2008

A wise man once said: "It is better to drink water than to drown in it." It took me a long time to understand the meaning of that saying, but I did finally understand the crap out of it!

Here's a similar saying: "If you like something a lot, don't smash it to pieces, unless it was meant to be smashed into pieces. If it was intended to be smashed into pieces, make sure you clean it up after you are finished with it, unless the point is the resulting artistic arrangement of the smashed pieces." Children from a young age understand this concept clearly and deeply.

Robots will never learn to moonwalk. Yes, they will someday visit the actual moon, but I am talking about that timeless move that Michael Jackson introduced to the world. Here is the reason that robots will never moonwalk: It's hard. Most people can't even do it right. How is a robot supposed to do something that defies the laws of physics? A robot can't go through the motions of walking forward and end up walking backward. A robot also cannot pretend.

I cried myself to sleep until I realized that I could just close my eyes when I was tired and go to sleep. Kids don't understand that even though they are having fun playing, or spitting chocolate milk at the cat, it's fine to go to sleep. they don't realize that they have no job or responsibilities of any kind, so when they wake up in the morning, they can just go right back to whatever they were doing. Come on kids! Give me a break. Also, kids can't count. Don't ask kids to count sheep because they can't, and even if they could it sounds like a really stupid idea to them because it IS a stupid idea.

I sat down to my computer and I really wanted to type a new blog entry. I know that if I don't type blog entries, I will have no way of passing on my knowledge to my posterity. Unfortunately, my knowledge is extremely..... non-existent. If you compare my knowledge to that of a library, I would be the library's little brother who doesn't know anything. So instead of some inspiring tome laden with wisdom and poetic imagery, you get me typing whatever comes into my brain. Like:

Trombone players think they are awesome, and they probably are.

The moral of the story is: "Loneliness is like not having anyone to talk to"

5 comments:

Mahubble said...

My head is shaking. Maybe you can hear the rattling sound from there.

leBolide said...

Crap, that's exactly the same thing I was going to type today.

Scorchi said...

You name should really be Looney Lancey.

elesa said...

Here is another one: Toes are like really short, weird looking fingers, that you can't do much with, and sometimes they smell bad.

elesa said...

the laughing just caused me to spit all over my keyboard.