Hi all-y'allz. I haven't written in my blog for a LOOONG time. I'm not apologizing, just stating a statement. Truth is, I have never actually written in my blog. I have typed in it though, and I say 'close but YES cigar!'

So, recently Anne (some lady that keeps showing up to our family get-togethers) told me that I should never judge a book by it's cover, but by how thick it is, which she later admitted was her way of telling me to lose a few thousand pounds. Yes, Anne, I do own an exercise bike. What? No, of course I don't actually use it for anything. I don't think that I should have to actually exert any kind of effort or force in order to lose weight. I just think that I should be able to burn enough calories by the chewing motion that I make when I eat my food. I really don't think that is too much to ask, and I am the kind of person that believes in standing for a principle. Well... sitting / standing, they are both the same thing really. I also have to lift a fork or spoon from the plate or bowl to my face, and typically that spoon or fork (or spork) is heavy with some delectable delight, so I'm burning more calories right there. Come on mother nature, we don't have to fight like this. I care about you, and I know you care about me, so let's just stop the cycle of hurt (and the cycle of exercycling).

Anyway.. ANyway, I digress. I think.... I have never really understood that word. So, my real point is this: DO judge a book by its cover! If the author was too lazy, or stupid, to make the cover look ok, what would make me believe that he or she took any extra care with the contents of the book? Every author knows that the cover is the most prominent marketing real estate they will ever get in promoting their inane rantings that they have collected and spewed onto paper. If they have any hope of getting us people to buy their garbage, they have to sell us!! I make it a rule to NEVER purchase a book that doesn't have a great cover. I usually look for subtle clues that tell me that my time wont be wasted reading the book. Things like: A picture of a really sweet car or monster truck; A comical title printed in comic sans; Catchy clip-art of money; An ominous question mark. These are just a few of the things I look for. You might find additional things to add to your list. Here's the skinny: You get in and out of the library or bookstore WAY faster if you learn how to judge a book by its cover. And you save countless hours of reading stupid books that should have been avoided had you known what to look for.

This is over.

P.S. Mother nature, call me later, we can work this out.