Saturday, February 23, 2008

This seems simple to me

I am not going to explain the literal whatever behind this post. I just feel the need to put this out there.

If you are a nerd, and you are NOT a masochist, I would NOT recommend walking up to the strongest, stupidest, most anger-prone bully and punching him in the face. This is especially true if on top of everything else, you are a fat nerd and can't run for nuthin.

Just to clarify: If you come across a crocodile that looks very hungry and you decide to see how long you can keep your hand in it's gaping mouth, pulling it back only at the last moment before the crocodile's mouth snaps shut, you forfeit your right to be surprised.

Nobody is going to be sorry for you or what happens to you if you decide to walk into a police station and start smoking crack in the lobby.

There will be jokes told at your funeral if you strap wings made out of cardboard, garbage bags, and duct tape to your arms and run off the edge of a cliff. Extra laughs will be had if you make some kind of ninja yell as you leap out into the open blue.

If you juggle chainsaws...

2 comments:

Rob Merrell said...

Awwwwwww come on, you can't write a post like that and not give us the scoop on what is behind all of that.

Lance Whitaker said...

Sorry to leave you hanging there. I wrote this at a time when it seemed like there were too many stupid people in the world.

I was in the middle of dealing with "that one guy" who used to work with us. He was surprised and angered that we actually are following up on his "activities".

Also, I was watching the show "Cops" and I just can't believe how stupid people are.