Stocking Up - December 20
19 hours ago
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Sleep gentle hippies, sleep!
Everyone needs a picture of themselves made out of many pictures of other people. Here is mine (click the image for bigger picturization):
This seems simple to me
I am not going to explain the literal whatever behind this post. I just feel the need to put this out there.
If you are a nerd, and you are NOT a masochist, I would NOT recommend walking up to the strongest, stupidest, most anger-prone bully and punching him in the face. This is especially true if on top of everything else, you are a fat nerd and can't run for nuthin.
Just to clarify: If you come across a crocodile that looks very hungry and you decide to see how long you can keep your hand in it's gaping mouth, pulling it back only at the last moment before the crocodile's mouth snaps shut, you forfeit your right to be surprised.
Nobody is going to be sorry for you or what happens to you if you decide to walk into a police station and start smoking crack in the lobby.
There will be jokes told at your funeral if you strap wings made out of cardboard, garbage bags, and duct tape to your arms and run off the edge of a cliff. Extra laughs will be had if you make some kind of ninja yell as you leap out into the open blue.
If you juggle chainsaws...
If you are a nerd, and you are NOT a masochist, I would NOT recommend walking up to the strongest, stupidest, most anger-prone bully and punching him in the face. This is especially true if on top of everything else, you are a fat nerd and can't run for nuthin.
Just to clarify: If you come across a crocodile that looks very hungry and you decide to see how long you can keep your hand in it's gaping mouth, pulling it back only at the last moment before the crocodile's mouth snaps shut, you forfeit your right to be surprised.
Nobody is going to be sorry for you or what happens to you if you decide to walk into a police station and start smoking crack in the lobby.
There will be jokes told at your funeral if you strap wings made out of cardboard, garbage bags, and duct tape to your arms and run off the edge of a cliff. Extra laughs will be had if you make some kind of ninja yell as you leap out into the open blue.
If you juggle chainsaws...
Monday, February 18, 2008
The inescapable truth of blogs
Recent scientific and religious studies have come to this shocking, and yet somehow obvious conclusion: If you write something in a blog, it is instantly true.
Some people have a hard time wrapping their minds around this, but it easily explained through the following story:
"ten hundred years ago from this very second there was a man who had a running parakeet. The parakeet was wise and did not ask for crackers that he would probably never get anyway. One day the sun turned purple, so the man asked the parakeet to fly to the highest mountain and fetch the longest and purest feather from a magical armadillo. When the parakeet returned with the feather, the man used it to fashion the internet and then he published the first blog. Thus we see that everything written in blogs is true."
Now it is up to all of us to trust everything we read in blogs without question. Next week we will discuss the true function of email-forwards! You won't want to miss it!
Some people have a hard time wrapping their minds around this, but it easily explained through the following story:
"ten hundred years ago from this very second there was a man who had a running parakeet. The parakeet was wise and did not ask for crackers that he would probably never get anyway. One day the sun turned purple, so the man asked the parakeet to fly to the highest mountain and fetch the longest and purest feather from a magical armadillo. When the parakeet returned with the feather, the man used it to fashion the internet and then he published the first blog. Thus we see that everything written in blogs is true."
Now it is up to all of us to trust everything we read in blogs without question. Next week we will discuss the true function of email-forwards! You won't want to miss it!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Blessings
Hi Everybody!
Note: This post is not humorous, nor is it very coherent. I am just writing some thoughts here, so if you are looking for a chuckle, this is not a chuckle bin.
I find it pretty cool that Anne lists blessings at the end of each post in her blog. It not an easy thing to be continually conscious of blessings.
Recently, I read a few blog posts written by an old mission friend of mine. He is a special kind of person. I remember him being stuck in an area for 8 months that had been really ruined by a scandal perpetrated by previous missionaries. That's a long story that I won't get into here, but it is sufficient to say that the name and reputation of the church was in bad shape in this place. Baptism hadn't occured here for as long as any of us had been in the field, but this elder was determined to change things before he left. He really cared about those people and worked so hard to try and turn things around there. Instead of asking for a transfer, he actually asked to stay in the area until he could help at least one person there get baptized. Anyway, cool guy.
So I mention this friend of mine because his blog talks about his current struggles with trying to realize some specific objectives he has for his life. Things are difficult for him right now. He is very poor and not seeing the results that he would like from the work he is putting in. Still, he makes mention of the many blessings in his life. I certainly don't have the same struggles in my life that he has in his. I have different struggles, but I have good reason to be thankful.
I have thought about why it is important to recognize and be grateful to God for blessings, and have some ideas. I don't think that is has to do with ego. I don't think that God needs a pat on the back from us. I don't think He needs our recognition. Just like everything else in this life, I think it is about empowering us. I think that God wants us to realize that we have abilities beyond the limitations of our mortal bodies and minds. We have these extra abilities and resources through Him, in much the same way that our children have limited abilities on their own, but through us they can accomplish much more.
Ok, my point is that recognition of blessings and their source is designed to teach us to learn from and rely on God. I also think He is teaching us to rely on each other.
As we progress in this life and the next, I really believe that it will be important for us to maintain family and friend relationships. Of course, all of us crazy mormons know that families can be forever. But why? Ya, it's fun to be with family, but I think it's more than that. We need relationships for this thing to work. It is the same after this life. I think that as we increase in knowledge and ability in the next life especially, we will rely on those relationships more and more. Does God have family and friends apart from those He has created. I think He does. It makes a lot of sense that the circle of life we see here on Earth is the same circle we experience in the hereafter.
Well, I am a babble-bot. Good bye.
Note: This post is not humorous, nor is it very coherent. I am just writing some thoughts here, so if you are looking for a chuckle, this is not a chuckle bin.
I find it pretty cool that Anne lists blessings at the end of each post in her blog. It not an easy thing to be continually conscious of blessings.
Recently, I read a few blog posts written by an old mission friend of mine. He is a special kind of person. I remember him being stuck in an area for 8 months that had been really ruined by a scandal perpetrated by previous missionaries. That's a long story that I won't get into here, but it is sufficient to say that the name and reputation of the church was in bad shape in this place. Baptism hadn't occured here for as long as any of us had been in the field, but this elder was determined to change things before he left. He really cared about those people and worked so hard to try and turn things around there. Instead of asking for a transfer, he actually asked to stay in the area until he could help at least one person there get baptized. Anyway, cool guy.
So I mention this friend of mine because his blog talks about his current struggles with trying to realize some specific objectives he has for his life. Things are difficult for him right now. He is very poor and not seeing the results that he would like from the work he is putting in. Still, he makes mention of the many blessings in his life. I certainly don't have the same struggles in my life that he has in his. I have different struggles, but I have good reason to be thankful.
I have thought about why it is important to recognize and be grateful to God for blessings, and have some ideas. I don't think that is has to do with ego. I don't think that God needs a pat on the back from us. I don't think He needs our recognition. Just like everything else in this life, I think it is about empowering us. I think that God wants us to realize that we have abilities beyond the limitations of our mortal bodies and minds. We have these extra abilities and resources through Him, in much the same way that our children have limited abilities on their own, but through us they can accomplish much more.
Ok, my point is that recognition of blessings and their source is designed to teach us to learn from and rely on God. I also think He is teaching us to rely on each other.
As we progress in this life and the next, I really believe that it will be important for us to maintain family and friend relationships. Of course, all of us crazy mormons know that families can be forever. But why? Ya, it's fun to be with family, but I think it's more than that. We need relationships for this thing to work. It is the same after this life. I think that as we increase in knowledge and ability in the next life especially, we will rely on those relationships more and more. Does God have family and friends apart from those He has created. I think He does. It makes a lot of sense that the circle of life we see here on Earth is the same circle we experience in the hereafter.
Well, I am a babble-bot. Good bye.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
AaaaaRRRRRRR maties!! Thar be treasure!
Everybody likes treasure hunting. Even your grandma likes it. I know this because every human on the planet is required by law to love treasure hunting. Look it up.
Being that I am a law-abiding, tax-paying, lawn-mowing, email-forwarding, upstanding citizen, I love treasure hunting just as much as the next guy. Not more, not less, but just as much. Actually, no! I love treasure hunting MORE than the next guy. He's a jerk anyway. I wish he would give my elevator shoes back! I'll get you, next guy!!
Anyway, back to treasure. So I have heard about geocaching for years, but I finally decided to try it, and convinced Boydell, Faralee, Charlie, and Fae to try it as well.
We were all on our way back from Las Vegas, and Charlie had a new GPS so we decided to look for a couple of caches. Our first find was at the South Point hotel. We searched everywhere and even caught the interest of the hotel security. Right as we found the cache, They pulled up in their official security golf carts and grilled us about what we were doing there. We told them what geocaching was and showed them the cache, and since we hadn't done anything remotely wrong, they said "ok" and we left. We were all worried that they might remove the cache since they now knew about it, but we checked several days later and people had continued to find it after our visit. So, all is well that ends well. And for me things end when they are out of my immediate attention.
Well, we found a few more in Las Vegas and a couple in wendover, or mesquite, I can't remember. Anyway, I am hooked!! As of this writing, I have found 36 caches and placed 3.
If you would like to find my caches, The links are below. Also, you will have to create an account to see the coordinates, but that is free, so no problem.
Red Fountain
Hedwig's Cache
Wolf Hollow
Also, If you are looking for a good GPS, I recommend the Garmin eTrex Venture HC. I have that one and it is excellent for geocaching. I bought mine at Cabella's, as they had the best prices in the valley, also the largest selection.
Note to Cabella's: If you read this, you can send me a pizza or a box of chocolates, cause look, I plugged you guys for free. That's just the kind of guy I am.
Being that I am a law-abiding, tax-paying, lawn-mowing, email-forwarding, upstanding citizen, I love treasure hunting just as much as the next guy. Not more, not less, but just as much. Actually, no! I love treasure hunting MORE than the next guy. He's a jerk anyway. I wish he would give my elevator shoes back! I'll get you, next guy!!
Anyway, back to treasure. So I have heard about geocaching for years, but I finally decided to try it, and convinced Boydell, Faralee, Charlie, and Fae to try it as well.
We were all on our way back from Las Vegas, and Charlie had a new GPS so we decided to look for a couple of caches. Our first find was at the South Point hotel. We searched everywhere and even caught the interest of the hotel security. Right as we found the cache, They pulled up in their official security golf carts and grilled us about what we were doing there. We told them what geocaching was and showed them the cache, and since we hadn't done anything remotely wrong, they said "ok" and we left. We were all worried that they might remove the cache since they now knew about it, but we checked several days later and people had continued to find it after our visit. So, all is well that ends well. And for me things end when they are out of my immediate attention.
Well, we found a few more in Las Vegas and a couple in wendover, or mesquite, I can't remember. Anyway, I am hooked!! As of this writing, I have found 36 caches and placed 3.
If you would like to find my caches, The links are below. Also, you will have to create an account to see the coordinates, but that is free, so no problem.
Red Fountain
Hedwig's Cache
Wolf Hollow
Also, If you are looking for a good GPS, I recommend the Garmin eTrex Venture HC. I have that one and it is excellent for geocaching. I bought mine at Cabella's, as they had the best prices in the valley, also the largest selection.
Note to Cabella's: If you read this, you can send me a pizza or a box of chocolates, cause look, I plugged you guys for free. That's just the kind of guy I am.
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