Why do good things always happen to bad people

I don't have to put punctuation at the end of my blog titles, Jessie! And If you could look past (crap! Is it passed or past?? I can't be handing this kind of ammo to the grammar gustapo)... Uh, If you look.. beyond (nice save) the missing punctuation, you will see that the meaning of the sentence is what's important. Although I guess it is hard to tell whether I am asking, yelling, or whatever. But I didn't type it in all caps, so I'm not yelling.

This is an issue that affects millions of families every year. Four (4) out of every bad person has good things happening to them.. like all the time! This doesn't seem right to me, and I intend to do something about it. I am going to need the help of humans everywhere, and that is why am writing this post. Please join with me in this effort to restore balance to the force. Here is my plan:

Phase 1: Alert the media. I am asking everyone to call their local newspaper and television stations and alert them to the injustice that is happening all over the world. Ask them to shine the bright, uncomfortable, burning light of shameful shamefulness on this issue. Once the piercing laser-beam of scrutiny has been focused, we will deploy phase 2!

Phase 2: Release the hounds! Once the scorching heat of awareness is beating down upon the bad people like a thousand suns firing an endless barrage of cancerous photon death, they will start to scurry and slither to get out of the hot hotness of doom. This will be our moment to activate those robot ninja monkies. This will be the time for big holes in the ground covered only by a thin layer of leaves. If you don't have monkies or big leafy death-trap holes, deploy any old thing you have laying about the lab. Battery acid, when carefully balanced on a slightly-opened door works very well indeed.

Phase 3: This is a phase that will be easy to overlook. However, it is vital to our success. Once we have captured all of the bad people who are having great things happen to them, we have to brainwash them to become members of our great scary villain army. Once we reach this phase I will send each of you the IP address to our orbiting brain-control satellite array. Yes, that means that I will have control over them all, but that's ok, we're friends, right?

Ok, we can make this right. If we all join our hands in holding the hammer of justice and hammeriness, we can hammer out a message to our brothers and our sisters, aaaaahahaaall over this land.

Let me close with this inspirational picture:

Some people just can't handle the jealousy

I just can't bottle this in anymore. When raw emotion grips you like a mother cat grips the back of her baby kitty's neck and carries you to the edge of sanity and throws you over into the boiling saucepan of never-ending boilingness, you have no other choice but to cry out to the humans of planet earth for just a little piece of understanding!! I am there. I have felt the whispering winds of whiperiness. I have opened the sauerkraut bottle of magnanimous magnanimity. I... ok I can hear you asking me to shut up and get to the point. So here it is:

Telepathy is not a joke, people! I just think that we could all be more thoughtful toward people who, by no action of their own, were born with that burdensome burden of burdenitude. I know that many of you think that the ability to communicate with your mind, and to read other people's minds would be a big tease. You think that you could have a lot of fun, well think again! Imagine the following true story:

Once upon a time there was a man named shibblesnork. All of his friends called him 'old shibsy' because that was easier to say back then when things were different than now.

Shibsy was minding the goat churner one morning when a strange fellow from the east wandered past the front gate. Since he was telepathic, without trying he caught this thought fluttering out of the stranger's brain: "Gee golly hey, I'm going to rob me up a bank today! Whoop diddly doo dum did!!" Now, you might not know this, but telepathic people can ask non-telepathic people questions, and the non-telepathic people will answer those questions just by thinking them, never knowing that they had been asked by someone else. So Shibsy telepathically asked "Which bank done you did think up robbing?" To which the stranger thought "Hadn't reckoned up what bank to caboozle. Maybe that big red one down in the town there." "That sounds great! Go for that one, you big sack of moldy old soap bubbles!" replied Shibsy. Shibsy was relieved, for it was the bank that he did not bank at, and thus, was no worry of his. However, this whole time he forgot to keep winding the churn winder, so his dinner was spoilt.

My great grand-friend used to read that story to me at night. Every night. Holy cow I got tired of that stupid story! But it taught me something! Just because someone can do something cool, that doesn't mean that they are automatically cool.

I would like to close with this final thought that my mother always taught me: Only reach for the stars if you want to burn your hands. They are balls of burning gas, stupid!

Bridges across nothing.

This post is about a dirt bridge that crosses.. more dirt. Useless. Or is it? I found it quite useful, actually. Here is video to prove that I am not lying, oh and yes, it is me driving my new dune buggy.:




And another:

I can't think of a title for this post. Probably because yesterday at the very moment the sun crossed the International Date Line, I blinked. I am sure that all of you are aware of the consequences of blinking at such a moment, so I will spare you the explanation.

This post is not about anything typed above. That was just stuff that I have been wanting to say for a long time, but I didn't think the world was ready for it.

I still haven't started writing about what I intended to write about, so stop distracting me! Ok, here it is:

Boydell and I bought two of these dune buggies. Mine is black and Boydell's is Yellow like a dandelion. We got them put together and finally went out to five mile pass to test them out. They are so much fun!! The have really high clearance and independent suspension so they are pretty cool.

Next week we are going down to Little Sahara. I haven't been there for years, and I can't wait to get back with our new buggies. We will have to buy paddles, which will let us tear across the sand.

Well, I am out of words to type. So there.

mahjong vs bubble breaker

For those of you who know about the secret underground mahjong tournaments in Brunei, you might not know that there is a parallel movement happening all over Scotland involving bubble breaker.

Last month, there was a huge brawl between the two groups. Each group wanting to settle the score once and for all!! Brunei sent their laser-robots with chainsaw arms. Scotland deployed their alien-cyborgs.

I don't know how it turned out, because right as the chainsaws were firing up, my mom called and needed me to help her fix her computer. I never got to find out which game is better, So if anyone knows which game is better, please tell me by voting on the poll.

If you haven't played either game, I would recommend that you run as fast as you can, because once you start playing, you will never ever stop.

So I used to be stuck on bubble breaker, but now I'm a mahjong monkey. Here is a link to an online mahjong game:

Mahjong

the Topher anomaly

So I have noticed something very unsettling. I don't know why it's unsettling, that just sounded good. Anyway, here is my observation: Every high school tech crew has a guy named Topher on the crew. It's true!!!!

Go check it out, it's true.

You get what you pay for

That phrase is very true. Especially when it comes to anything technology related. I find it interesting, however, that the more expensive and "fancy" something is, the more trouble it is to maintain that thing. I just wouldn't think that to be the case, but sadly it usually is.

For example, One of my friends bought a Mercedes. Nice car. Well, nice "looking" car is probably more appropriate. I mean, I drove it once and it is zippy, but when he had a problem with it, the service was very costly and difficult. Also, surprisingly, the car is completely useless if there is even a micron of snow on the ground. I am sure that the snooty, monocle-clad elite would argue that the Mercedes is designed for specific driving conditions, and really should only ever be driven on windy mountain roads in Sweden, preferably only while being filmed from a helicopter for a commercial for cologne, or a spy movie. Well, Reginald, if a car can't handle the tiniest amount of snow, I would worry about even driving it at all. What if a surprise rain came a fallin'? All I am saying is, I know that cars can be very pretty, but most people don't have car museums, so let's just draw the line somewhere.

How did I get so derailed there? Sorry about that. What actually spawned this whole thought was that over the weekend I upgraded some of the hardware over at Fibernet. I put a brand-new firewall in place along with a new cisco switch to replace our consumer-grade switch that was there before. It all went well, except that anytime I replace a device that faces Fibernet's switch, I have to call them and ask them to clear the arp cache so that their switch will pick up and allow traffic from the new device. This really only happens if I change anything from the firewall level and up, so usually not a big deal. And I know that their switch uses arp caching to make things a lot faster and that it is a good thing, but it's just another case-in-point that fancy things require more babying. Stupid baby switches!!

I guess I would rather have a something that is solid and works than some consumer-grade device that just kinda works. So I will take the extra work that comes with it. I do think it is worth the extra trouble. After replacing our consumer-grade switch with the fancy new cisco switch, our ping times have stabilized which is a dramatic change. Our ping fluctuations and collisions have also cleared up completely, which makes it worth it right there.